Finding your personal style is often framed as a destination- a final, polished version of yourself that, once discovered, never changes. In reality, it’s a process shaped by uncertainty, influence and constant revision. I know for me, it’s still ongoing.
The difficulty lies in the amount of noise surrounding fashion. Trends move quickly. Reference points multiply. Social media offers endless examples of how to look right, but very little guidance on how to look like yourself. Style becomes something to assemble rather than uncover.
For many people, the struggle isn’t a lack of taste, but an excess of input. Inspiration arrives fully formed, leaving little space for experimentation. You try on versions of yourself that look convincing on someone else, but feel misaligned when worn in real life. The result is confusion- a wardrobe full of pieces, but nothing that feels resolved. A wardrobe of waste- pieces thrown before even used.
Style also resists certainty because it’s tied to identity and identity isn’t fixed.
What feels authentic at one stage of life can feel restrictive at another. The pressure to define yourself through clothing often clashes with the reality of change. When style is treated as static, evolution feels like failure rather than growth.
There’s also a commercial tension at play. Fashion encourages consumption before clarity. You’re invited to buy into aesthetics before you’ve had time to understand what actually supports your life, body and movement. The gap between aspiration and reality widens, making personal style feel further away instead of closer.
Finding your style, then, is less about labels or consistency and more about attention. Noticing what you return to. What you wear when no one is watching. What allows you to move through the day without adjustment. These patterns matter more than trend alignment.
Clarity arrives slowly. Through repetition. Through rejection. Through learning what doesn’t work and letting it go. Much like in many other aspects of our lives. Style becomes something lived rather than styled- shaped by comfort, proportion and how you want to feel in your body.
Perhaps the most honest approach is to stop looking for a finished version of yourself. Style isn’t something you solve; it’s something you practice. It evolves as you do, responding to context, experience and change.
The difficulty isn’t failing to find your style.
It’s expecting it to stay the same once you do.
Solimeo Studio 
Leave a comment